Mary Jane: How My Vagina Birthed a Whole New Me

I went to VDay primarily to support my awesome friend Aly Hoag as she assembled a fantastic team of ten volunteer makeup artists so we could nurture 2000 neglected women from Hurricane Katrina. What I could not imagine was how this trip would allow the birth of my new artist, the healing of my inner-guilt monger and the raising up of my soul.

My team role was producing our communication pieces: the press release, affirmation card, fundraising flyer (I had lots of help). I knew I was going to VDay to assist Aly, I just didn't know how. I am NOT the makeup artist! So when I arrived in the Ansley Mall parking lot for our midnight bus ride, I went on my gut as to what I'd do next. Thank goddess I turned on my digital camera and started shooting video.

WOW! It was love at first zoom, instant chemistry, a lost soulmate finding her way home...I am a documentary film maker! Who knew? Obviously I did, it simply took Eve Ensler throwing a healing party for 30,000 people in New Orleans and my courageous friend for starting her empowerment beauty company for me to figure this out. I got straight to work filming Aly as she met her artists (some for the first time). And I kept the camera on as much as possible over the next 72 hours. The footage is heart-expanding. Stay tuned for the screening party...

My period started on the bus ride. I was unprepared. And there was no convenience store around. Miracles manifested though--I had a few tampons left in my bag; Aly is always well stocked on SUPERPLUS; the beautiful hotel had a fully-stocked stash (now that's class and service). I made it through my first day--always the heaviest--and put all concerns out of my mind. After all, this is my body that my soul's been renting for the last 36 years, and I know how she bleeds. Or do I?

So I'm sitting in Aly's chair and getting some fun makeup put on me before we serve about 500 women. I've just put in a SUPER tampon and I'm ready to go. I get up out of the chair and I hear gasps--oh, honey, um...you've got a problem back here. I have bled straight through my skirt and the mark is the size of a cantelope. There is a puddle of blood on Aly's chair. "What the heck is happening," I wonder out loud. "This isn't my second day! My second day is light!"

"How old are you," a volunteer makeup artist asks as she scrambles to help me. "I'm 36." Aaaahhh the women say in unison. When you get older, your period gets heavier, not lighter. Whaaa???

As this news sinks in, a strong, thick trickle of menses blood rolls down my leg and into my Keens red sandle. I grab a towel, wipe up the river and literally stuff it in between my pants. Our angel Aleska offers me her jean jacket. I beg a hairdryer off the Matrix hair stylists and waddle my way to the bathroom. Several of our crew will get an eye-full of me as i blow dry my sink-washed skirt butt naked (save for the jean jacket which I also bled on).

If there was ever a place to have the news delivered to you that, "Yes honey, it actually gets stronger as you age. Welcome to Womanhood," it was at the biggest Vagina Party of all time. I felt supported and in sisterhood and we all had a really good laugh. I envision the day of such a scene playing out in a five-star restaurant and receiving the same support from my sisters. That is the day we have world peace.

On the bus ride home, we all sang Vagina praises and mused out loud about how this would change us, how we wanted to do even more for the safety and well being of women on the planet. I confessed that I felt guilty and confused because I felt I already had enough on my plate. This caused a ripple effect as woman after woman thanked me for saying outloud what she was feeling too. Our goddess sister Dr. Holm comforted us and shared her wisdom that we are already enough, and to take care of ourselves is a radical, powerful act of peace and love. Amen. Again, I felt supported, nurtured and empowered.

Back to the camera one more time...the most powerful moment of all in this amazing weekend was when I was making all my mistakes while filming. I made a thousand of them! Instead of a customary "you suck, MJ" conversation with myself, I instead chose to love the moment, love how wet behind the ears I was and forgave myself for being so sorely underprepared. This allowed Divine Creativity to surface in my heart and I walked away with a new powerful relationship with myself. This is the only peace on Earth there is. And I gratefully embrace all my midwives who made it possible. Namaste.